Alpha Gang Review: Humanity Catches the Aliens

The funniest idea in Alpha Gang may also be its most depressing: humanity’s defining characteristic is treated as an infection. David and Nathan Zellner send six leather-clad extraterrestrials to Earth with orders to conquer it, then give them bodies that require food, sleep, toilets, menstruation, and the humiliating inconvenience of feeling things.

Their Alpha Gang headquarters resembles several civilizations having an architectural argument. Medieval stone walls meet polished chrome, Brutalist corridors, and the sort of machinery a 1950s science-fiction serial might have considered cutting edge. Outside, soldiers from incompatible eras shoot at one another across a landscape where tanks, trenches, motorcycles, bazookas, and older weapons coexist without explanation. Call it chronological soup. I mean that affectionately. Mostly.

The Alphas themselves, played by Léa Seydoux, Dave Bautista, Kelvin Harrison Jr., Lily-Rose Depp, Doona Bae, and Riley Keough, know they are supposed to conquer Earth. The details have apparently become fuzzy during their transformation into humans. Their more urgent concern is the spreading disease of emotion. Anyone showing symptoms should be quarantined. Everyone shows symptoms.

Learning to Be Human

Kelvin Harrison Jr.’s Alpha Three gives the premise its purest expression when a messenger hawk arrives and he promptly develops romantic feelings for it. He asks the bird to go steady, reasoning that something so majestic must occupy an exalted position in Earth’s hierarchy. The absurdity works because Harrison plays the exchange like first love rather than sketch comedy.

Lily-Rose Depp gets another revealing thread as Alpha Four. During battle, she learns that an enemy soldier has a family and lets him escape. Later, she decides that being called Alpha Four no longer satisfies her. She wants a name. The request triggers an argument in which the aliens begin claiming possible names for themselves, turning individual identity into something between adolescent rebellion and bureaucratic crisis.

These scenes give the Zellners’ central metaphor some bite. Emotion does not simply make the aliens nicer. It disrupts classification. Alpha Three cries alone. Alpha Five asks Alpha Six for a hug. Alpha One tries suppressing her feelings until they emerge as anger. Alpha Two becomes an oddly patient mediator while developing an attraction to Alpha One that neither knows how to articulate.

I initially thought the film was building toward a sharper argument about control, perhaps that civilizations obsessed with efficiency inevitably start treating vulnerability as contamination. Then Alpha Gang keeps returning to the same equation: feeling equals humanity. The idea remains pleasant, sometimes moving, yet it rarely mutates after being introduced. There is also a recurring mystery involving somebody leaving the toilet seat up and urinating everywhere. Heidegger survived without addressing this problem. The Zellners refuse such cowardice.

Chrome, Castles and Machine Guns

The film’s physical world possesses the conceptual density its script occasionally lacks. The Alpha insignia appears on jackets, weapons, binoculars, and portable record players. Their greaser hairstyles and studded leather suggest that an invading civilization studied Earth through a very narrow stack of cultural artifacts and decided, yes, this is probably enough.

Music becomes their informal anthropology. The gang repeatedly gathers around a jukebox and dances stiffly to 1950s love songs, absorbing romance through lyrics before they understand it through experience. The robotic movements gradually look less mechanical as emotional attachments form. It is a simple visual progression, yet the performers sell every awkward shoulder movement.

Then Chris Pine arrives and destabilizes the rhythm. His Alpha approaches water, alcohol, furniture, and conversation with such aggressive curiosity that his scenes operate on a slightly different comic frequency. During one dinner-table exchange, his chair appears to shrink each time the camera cuts back to him. Nobody explains it. Good.

Cate Blanchett enters with the Beta Gang, a technologically superior alien faction whose pop-cultural development has apparently reached the 1980s. They carry boomboxes, blast techno, and writhe through pseudo-breakdancing poses. The joke is wonderfully stupid and strangely logical: superior extraterrestrial technology apparently means being thirty years ahead in music.

That visual logic survives better than the invasion plot. Gunfights grow larger, bodies collapse into bloody spasms, blue blood sprays across Brutalist interiors, and increasingly ridiculous weapons enter combat, yet the human factions remain deliberately vague and the Alphas’ conquest strategy never gains meaningful shape.

The Trouble With Feeling Everything

The film is strongest when humanity arrives in small doses. Alpha Four sparing a soldier after hearing about his family says plenty without requiring a speech. Alpha Five asking for a hug turns physical contact into an act of rebellion. Alpha Three falling for Periwinkle the hawk makes loneliness ridiculous without erasing its sadness.

The attraction between Alpha One and Alpha Two works through restraint. Bautista’s stillness becomes especially useful here; while other characters erupt into unfamiliar feelings, he makes affection look like a system quietly overheating. Seydoux answers him with resistance that gradually becomes harder to distinguish from fear.

Yet repetition begins to expose the limits of the emotional-virus conceit. Once every character has demonstrated some variation of love, sadness, anger, empathy, or desire, the film has fewer places to take the idea. Pine and Blanchett provide fresh comic energy, while the Beta conflict supplies severed limbs, heavier weaponry, and a late burst of momentum.

What remains interesting is the inversion underneath all that noise. These aliens arrive believing superiority means control, obedience, certainty, and immunity from feeling. Earth teaches them the opposite lesson through hawks, jukeboxes, toilets, doomed crushes, and terrible dance moves. I am still unsure the Zellners have discovered anything especially profound about being human. They have, however, discovered that existential confusion looks excellent in a leather jacket.

Alpha Gang premiered at the 53rd Telluride Film Festival on September 5, 2026. The sci-fi comedy follows a group of alien invaders disguised as a 1950s biker gang whose mission to conquer Earth gets derailed when they unexpectedly develop human emotions.

Full Credits

• Title: Alpha Gang

• Distributor: MK2 Films, Protagonist Pictures

• Release date: September 5, 2026 (Telluride Film Festival)

• Running time: 1 hour 49 minutes

• Director: David Zellner, Nathan Zellner

• Writers: David Zellner

• Producers and Executive Producers: David Zellner, Nathan Zellner, Cate Blanchett, Coco Francini, Ryan Zacarias, Gina Gammell, Andrea Bucko, Mary Aloe, Joshua Harris

• Cast: Cate Blanchett, Chris Pine, Dave Bautista, Léa Seydoux, Lily-Rose Depp, Adria Arjona, Doona Bae, Kelvin Harrison Jr., Riley Keough

• Director of Photography (Cinematographer): Mike Gioulakis

• Editors: Daniel Tarr, David Zellner, Nathan Zellner

• Composer: The Octopus Project